'Til Debt Do Us Part

The sermon opened up with a brief audio clip of Albert Collins' song, "Master Charge". Lyrics are as follows:

Got my wife a charge card, just the other day
I owe five hundred dollars just from yesterday.
I said, "Honey, here's a present, go out and shop around . . .
Buy you a couple dresses and browse around downtown."
She did just what I told her, bought 1 . . . 2 . . . 3 . .
Came home lookin' silly, making googoo eyes at me.

Master Charge . . . Bank Americard
Master Charge . . . Bank Americard
Master Charge . . . Bank Americard

Funny song . . . but not nearly so funny when it’s real life, real arguments, real bills, and a real marriage. Christian financial counselor Dave Ramsey says that the old saw about finances being the number one reason couples get divorced is absolutely true. He says, “The arguments may not appear to be directly about money; ultimately you're fighting about priorities, values, dreams, trust. But it's all linked with finances.”
There are more Bible verses dealing with the topic of money than any other single topic. More Bible verses on money than on baptism. More on money than on lust. More on money than on salvation. It’s clear from the Scriptures that God gives us money and the ability to make money, and that He expects us to put it to good use. We are, after all, just stewards of the money that in reality belongs to Him. So how are we handling that money?
Last fall, Marriage Partnership surveyed nearly 2,900 married people about their finances. Among others, they asked these questions:
Q: In an emergency, how long could your family live on your savings?
Just under half—only 43 percent—of the people interviewed said they could live for less than a month on their savings. A total of only 6 percent said they could live for seven to twelve months.
Q: Do you currently have credit card debt?
56 percent said “Yes.” The average credit card debt in the American household, by the way, is over $8000. At an interest rate of 18%, $8000 dollars in credit card debt would take over twenty-five years to repay and, in the end, cost more than $24,000. And over half of the people interviewed acknowledged that they carried credit card debt.
No savings and large debt; that would create financial difficulties—and the marriage problems that accompany them—in any circumstance. But the problem gets even worse when there isn’t trust regarding those finances.
Q: How much do you trust your spouse when it comes to money?
"Completely" say 58 percent of husbands . . . but only 40 percent of wives.
Money problems stack the deck against your marriage! But on the upside, when money is properly handled according to God’s rules for good stewardship, your marriage will be on stronger footing than it was before. As I was searching for good information for this topic, I came across a study from Rick Warren where he details four Biblical foundations for managing money in marriage. Let’s take a quick look at those four foundations for managing your money before it manages you.
The first principle is keep good records. Proverbs 27:23-24 says, “ 23Be sure you know the condition of your flocks, give careful attention to your herds; 24 for riches do not endure forever, and a crown is not secure for all generations.”
We’ve all heard people say—and probably said it ourselves from time to time, for that matter--, “I just don't know where my money goes!” How many of you would agree that ignorance regarding your herd—your finances—can get you in a lot of trouble? Ignorance plus easy credit—when you don’t know where the money is going but you’ve got plenty of ways to spend it—that equals a stewardship catastrophe.
So as good stewards you and your spouse together should know the condition of your flocks: you should keep good financial records. Good financial records include knowing:
1. What you own.
2. What you owe.
3. What you earn.
4. And if you don’t know where the money goes, you need to learn. You need to track your expenditures.
Until you know those things, you're in the dark. The Bible says there is no way you can successfully manage your finances if you don't know the condition of your herds, if you haven't kept good records.
The second principle of good finances in marriage is to plan your spending. Yes, it’s a dirty word, one that most people never mention in polite company, but I’m going to say it any way: Budget.
A budget allows you the freedom to control your spending rather than have it control you. Proverbs 21:17 says, “17 He who loves pleasure will become poor; whoever loves wine and oil will never be rich.” Now the point of the Christian life isn’t to become rich, but the point of this Bible verse is to remind us that uncontrolled money is wasted money. What is a budget? Planned spending. A budget is planned spending. The person who doesn't plan -- he just hastily spends it -- ends in poverty. Together, you and your spouse should plan your spending.
The third foundation for marriage and money is to enjoy what you have now. This is the principle of contentment. Howard Hughes was once asked how much money would be enough, and you know what he said? “Just a little bit more.” One more dollar. One more car. One more vacation. We tend to search for contentment by getting more, but 1 Timothy 6:6 says, “6 But godliness with contentment is great gain.”
There was a time, many years ago, when money at our house was extremely tight. We wanted more than what we could have and it caused tension. It caused friction. Heck . . . it caused fights. It was after one of those fights that I remembered God’s word in Proverbs 15:16-17. I decided then that money problems weren’t worth the tension they caused in my house. Love is far better than money. And so I made dinner with what we had in the house. Chicken noodle soup made from spaghetti noodles, some chicken bouillon, and hot water. And I called the children to the table and read them that verse. Proverbs 15:16-17, “Better a little with the fear of the LORD than great wealth with turmoil. 17 Better a meal of vegetables where there is love than a fattened calf with hatred.” I don’t care how much money I’ll ever have, I’d rather have a Godly contentment in my house than riches any day.
The fourth foundation is found in Proverbs 3:9. “9 Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops.” Firstfruit giving is tithing. Simply put, it means that before you give to anyone or anything else, before you pay yourself or your bills, you take a set portion of your income and return that to God in thanks for what He has provided. Yes, it can be difficult at times. Yes, it does require discipline. Yes, I’m sure that you look at your finances right now and can’t imagine how in the world you would start giving a regular portion to God. But you need to do it anyway.
One, because it’s Biblical. Deuteronomy 14:23 teaches us that the purpose of tithing is to teach you to put God first in every area of your life. We could look through a dozens of more verses on the subject, but the fact of the matter is, it’s there. It’s in the Bible.
Two, I want you and your spouse to agree on tithing because your willingness to tithe reflects your faith in Christ. To tithe is to trust God at His Word.
Tithing is like the old man who was walking across the Mojave Desert. It didn’t look like he was going to make it, and as he was dying of thirst and he came upon this old, rickety, sixty year old handle pump there in the desert. It didn't look like it would work. But there was a wooden sign that said, “If you're thirsty, dig one foot down in the ground and there's a glass jar filled with water. Take that glass jar and poor it into the pump and pump like crazy for a minute and a half and you'll have all the water you need. Then fill up the glass and bury it for the next person.”
The man came to this and he had to decide. The pump needed to be primed in order for it to work. The question was, was he going to drink that glass that he could count on, or was he going to sacrifice that glass to prime the pump and believe that he would then have more than he could handle? What would you do?

These four principles—keeping good records, planning your spending, enjoying what you have now, and tithing—they will go a long way towards keeping your marriage financially fit. I’d recommend them to everybody. But there’s one more that I’d specifically like to add. A fifth foundation, if you will, and that is: go into debt.
We’ve talked a fair bit about marriage in the past few weeks. We’ve talked about God’s design for your marriage, we’ve talked about how to keep the lines of communication open. But the one thing we haven’t really talked about is the reason you got married in the first place: love. And that is where I want you to go into debt.
Romans 13:8 says, “8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law.”
Look at your husband . . . look at your wife. I don’t care what kind of troubles you’ve had during your marriage; we’ve all had them. But right now I want you to put those out of your mind. I just want you to think of all they’ve done for you over the years. When they’ve been there for you. When they’ve cared for you. When they’ve supported you. Think about that, and then answer this question:

Do you honestly think you’re worthy of all the love they’ve shown you?

Think back to your wedding vows—to have and to hold, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part. Have you been faithful in living up to those grand words each and every day of your marriage? No, I don’t suppose so. And yet for whatever reason, they’re still married to you. Despite the rough times, despite the rocky roads, despite the fact that you are sometimes just downright unlovable . . . they’re still sticking around. You’re still being loved by your spouse. You are loved. Let no debt remain outstanding . . . except the debt of love you owe one another.
But sometimes we have a little more difficulty remembering the good times. Sometimes the one relationship that’s supposed to be better than anything else in the world brings us the worst pain instead. I hear your pain . . . I know what you’re going through. And you might wonder, “Pastor, can we ever get back what we once had? Can there ever be restoration to our marriage?”
And to that I’d say, “No . . . you can never go back. Sometimes there can’t be restoration . . . but there can be redemption.”
Christ didn’t die for nothing. He didn’t look down from Heaven, see us in the sorry state we’ve gotten ourselves into, and become one of us so that we could stay stuck in the muck and the mire of our own sin. He didn’t die so that we can continue to live in bad marriages. But neither did He die so that we can have a time machine and do it all over, only right this time. He died to redeem us from our past. To give us hope and a future.
Christ knows where you’ve failed. He knows when you haven’t lived up to your marriage vows. He knows when you have failed to truly love your spouse. He knows that, and still for some reason He chooses to redeem you, to redeem you and your marriage, and give you a fresh start. Okay, so maybe you didn’t live up to the vows you made a few years ago . . . but can you say it today? Can you receive Christ’s redemption and say it for today? “I take you to have and to hold from this day forward”?
Even for God, yesterday is gone. He’s not about to change what was, but He is willing to redeem your yesterdays in Christ and give you a new today. Those old pains, those old arguments . . . they don’t have to matter anymore, because Christ wants to redeem your past. In Christ, you can have a new marriage, one that starts today.
1 John 4:7 Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us. 13 We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world.
Let us pray . . .