Your Questions Answered, Part One: Disillusioned With God

There was a time in my life—not all that long ago—when I suffered through a fairly serious crisis of faith. It seemed that my whole world was collapsing around me. I had enemies on every side, my hopes and dreams were turning to dust before my eyes.
I did all the things that heroic faith demanded. I claimed the promises of the Scriptures. I prayed for my enemies. I prayed to God for my deliverance. I doggedly believed that God would vindicate me and that He would restore everything that had been taken from me, that I would see my life rise up from the ashes.
But despite my faith that the situation would get better, instead it got worse. It got worse. It got so bad, in fact, that I lost my unshakable confidence that God would see things right. I began to question Him. And then I began to distrust Him. At the very lowest point I remember simply having a breakdown. Crying and screaming, I yelled out, “Why is God allowing this to happen to me?!?” I had become disillusioned with God.
Now I think that if we were all to be honest there have been times when each of us has experienced a certain sense of disillusionment with God. Are you with me? Have you experienced this yourself? It’s not a crime, it’s not an unforgivable sin, we can confess this in front of one another.
We’ve all been there. God doesn’t do what we expect. We pray and pray and pray, we serve and give faithfully, we read our Scriptures, we do all the things that God’s faithful people are supposed to do, the things that we assume will result in God hearing us and answering our prayers, and still He doesn’t do what we want Him to. He doesn’t answer our prayers the way we would like Him to. The illness we’ve been praying over doesn’t get better, it gets worse. Our prayers and fasts and offerings seem to have no effect, and it looks for all the world as though God has left the building. Trouble is, we’re still inside it, struggling and striving and hoping for release.
So how do we deal with this? There we are, standing in the pile of smoking rubble that used to be our lives, and it looks like God refuses to fix it. We are ready to go into battle, strapping on the full armor of God, and still the enemy lops our head clean off. We claim God’s promise that “Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you” and then we look over in our corner and God’s . . . just . . . not . . . there. And inwardly we struggle and fight and desperately try to hold on to some kind of faith, but there doesn’t seem to be anything to hold on to. We grasp the wind.
How do we deal with this? Well, it’s a bit different for every individual, but there’s a basic outline that we each can follow. The first step is to arm yourself with knowledge. You need to know what’s really going on.
The fundamental issue of disillusionment with God stems from a desire to be in control, to be able to dictate the actions of God rather than live under His apparent whims.
In that sense we’re a little bit like Roy Pearson. You may have heard about him in the news recently. Seems ol’ Roy took his pants to the cleaners two years ago and when he came back to pick them up a few days later, they couldn’t find them. So he waited a few more days and they gave him pants that matched his check-in receipt. Trouble was, Roy doesn’t like cuffs on his pants, and these had cuffs, so of course Roy figured they couldn’t really be his. He’s been so upset over the whole matter that he finally decided to sue. For 54 million dollars. And the reason? Because the cleaners had a sign that said, “satisfaction guaranteed”.
Sometimes we come to God and figure that He has a 100% satisfaction guarantee. We figure that we have an inherent right to our satisfaction and that God should live up to our expectations. In other words, we feel that we have a right to control God.
But God will not be controlled. He will continue to work, but always—always—on His own terms.
The is what the Old Testament prophet Elijah learned in 1 Kings 19:13-18. Elijah was on the run, fearing for his life. The queen of Israel was working hard to establish Baal—and not the one true God—as the god of Israel, and she was fed up with Elijah’s continual reminder that she was on a path to destruction. She had her sights on Elijah and was seeking to put him to death. It appeared as though God no longer cared. So defeated and disillusioned, Elijah went and hid in a cave. Then God spoke to him. “What are you doing here, Elijah?" 14 He replied, "I have been very zealous for the LORD God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, broken down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too." 15 The LORD said to him . . . 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel-- all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and all whose mouths have not kissed him.””
God continues to work, although we may not see what He is doing. But does that mean He isn’t working at all? No. God has His plan, He is working His plan, but it is a plan that is His. We can’t control what He does or when He chooses to reveal His work and His plan. But He is working, nonetheless.
That brings up the second bit of information you need to know. Sometimes we think, “I don’t like what’s going on, but if I could just understand what God is doing, then I’d be okay.”
This is kind of what Job—the all-time winner for the “Disillusionment with God” award—did. At nearly the height of his suffering, Job finally breaks down and complains that he just doesn’t understand. Job 23:1-5, “Then Job replied: 2 "Even today my complaint is bitter; his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning. 3 If only I knew where to find him; if only I could go to his dwelling! 4 I would state my case before him and fill my mouth with arguments. 5 I would find out what he would answer me, and consider what he would say.”
It’s natural to want to understand why. But what’s really going on when we say that? Isn’t that just another form of control? When we say, “I want to understand,” we’re in effect saying that if we could understand, then we’d approve. The whole thought, when laid out, would be something like, “I now understand what God is doing through such-and-such, and I hereby give my consent.” In other words . . . we’re still in control.
Disillusionment with God is just that: dis-illusionment. On the original sermon topic request, the person who requested this noted that they had heard it recently said, “Disillusion is the child of illusion”, and that’s true. When we are dis-illusioned, the illusion that we can control God is becoming unraveled. It’s frightening to realize we don’t have a 100% satisfaction guarantee, that God cannot be controlled. As C.S. Lewis was fond of saying, “It’s not as though He’s a tame lion.” He is, after all, a living God.
So now you’re armed with knowledge. You know that God is a living God, that you cannot control Him. And yet you’re still faced with the reality of this bad situation. You want it to turn out better, but still God seems to have other ideas. What’s the next step? In other words, how do you learn to deal with a living God?
God cannot be controlled . . . but that does not mean He can’t be trusted. Quite the opposite, actually. If you were to meet a person who continually brought you harm, you would naturally—and rightly—assume that they couldn’t be trusted, and you would stay away from them. But in God’s case, you can trust Him even in the midst of what appears to be a very, very bad situation.
Why is that? Because God’s word is trustworthy and true. You can rely upon it. You can trust God’s Word because it is the Word of God. When He speaks, it is impossible for Him to lie.
And that trustworthy, reliable Word of God—the Scriptures—has this to say about living in brokenness and still trusting in a living God for deliverance: Romans 8:25-28, “25 But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. 26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. 27 And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will. 28 And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Let’s break that down quickly: In this case, last things first. The final thing Paul says you must know is the most important. You must know and trust that God is using your present difficulties to conform you to the image of His Son. God is using this time of pain and suffering to make you more like Christ.
Think of all that Christ’s suffering has brought you! Through His suffering, you have been given new life, forgiveness of sins, and peace with God. You don’t need to live in fear of divine judgment. You don’t need to fear death. Through Christ’s suffering, God has given you eternal life. Can any amount of present suffering, no matter how difficult, ever take that away? As Paul says, God’s grace is truly sufficient for you.
That’s really the answer that drives all the other answers. As Christ suffered, so too you, a Christian—literally a “little Christ”—will suffer. Not a meaningless suffering, but a suffering with a glorious, heavenly purpose that will echo into eternity, because the grace of Jesus Christ that He won through His suffering can and will see you through.
And in that knowledge—the knowledge that Christ’s suffering is of benefit to you, and therefore your suffering also has benefit—in that knowledge Paul says that when you are faced with circumstances in our life that we cannot explain, those times when it seems as though God is not listening—the times of sicknesses, of death, of pain and regret, the times of our own weakness—Paul says that first you wait. Not just an idle waiting, but a hopeful, patient waiting. A waiting that puts its faith in God for Him to do what is good . . . no, to do what is best, and do it in His own time.
And while you wait, you pray. And whatever you do, remember this point, and remember it well: when you try to pray but you’re so broken and in so much pain and confusion that you can’t even make the words come out, the Holy Spirit—God Himself—helps you to pray, translating your groans and cries into a beautiful prayer that words by themselves could not express. Where is God when it hurts? He is with you, praying.
You wait in hope, you pray in the Holy Spirit, and thirdly in faith you cling to His promises. The promise in verse twenty-eight that all things—not just some things, not just the good and pleasant things—but in all things God is working to bring about good—real, true good—in your life. Your current trials and temptations, your hurts and your scars, in God’s hand they will one day turn into badges of honor and glory, because God has promised that it is so. And as one who’s been there, I promise you that it will be amazing the way God does it.
We all feel disillusioned with God at times. We don’t like pain. We don’t like fear. We don’t like being out of control. We don’t like suffering. But perhaps it’s good to be dis-illusioned, because then we must rely upon the true God, and not an illusion of a God we can control. The true God makes no promise that we will not suffer, but He does make a promise to be with us even in the midst of our suffering. Whether or not we see Him or feel His presence, He is there, praying with us, working to bring good into our lives . . . even through suffering . . . all in the name of Christ.

. . . and they praised God because of me.

People are not to be praised for what they do for God, but God to be praised for what He does through people.


On one of the internet pastor’s forums I regularly participate in there was a recent conversation about what one guy called “mega Christian stars.” The topic of discussion was how this man had met one of our modern-day Christian heroes and was a bit disappointed in how the encounter turned out.
Considering what the “Christian hero” had done in his life—he was a Hollywood actor who had found Jesus and become known for his firm stand on the gospel and his love for Christ—my internet friend was disappointed that, when he met the man face-to-face, his hero was just another regular guy. I don’t know what he expected—maybe a halo hovering around his head or a bright, shining, holy light that enveloped him wherever he went—but what he expected wasn’t what he saw. He saw a normal guy and was disappointed that he wasn’t something more exciting. Something praiseworthy.
It got me to thinking this week about the nature of praise and to whom we naturally want to give it. In the Christian community we love our heroes of the faith: those people who are great teachers or preachers or leaders. The people who have really accomplished something huge for the Kingdom of God. We talk about them to our church friends and sometimes even recommend their books or CD’s or whatever to our unbelieving friends.
There’s a certain ring of truth to doing that. After all, I think what is in our minds is just to give credit where credit is due. So when we see someone who is really doing some good for the Kingdom of God, we want to acknowledge that. But . . . to whom is the credit really due?
Think about it. When we heap praise upon someone or something other than God, what do the Scriptures call that? It’s called idolatry: the placing of someone or something in the place of honor that rightly belongs to God alone. Rather than praising people for what they’ve done for God, we should instead praise God for what He’s done through people.
Let’s use the Apostle Paul as an example. In his letter to the Galatians Paul embarks on a discussion about himself. After opening his letter, he begins to tell the Galatians about how no one taught him the gospel of Jesus Christ, but that he received it in a personal revelation from Christ Himself. He launches into a discussion about what he used to be like, how he persecuted the church, how God called him and then how he did this, how he did that, the places he went, the people he met.
Now by any standards this sounds pretty prideful. Paul appears to be boasting about himself, doesn’t he? After all, I count about seventeen “I”, “me” or “my” references in those thirteen verses alone! That’s one way that you can tell when a person is really self-centered: when they talk about themselves all the time. When they say, “enough about you . . . let’s talk about ME!”
We’ve all met people like that before: people who work really, really hard to make sure you know how great they are. People who want to become some sort of idol in your eyes. But when it’s that obvious, it’s usually pretty easy to spot. It’s harder to spot the same kind of thing when we’re the ones putting someone else on a pedestal.
Whenever a group of Christians gets together, it doesn’t take long for one of them to start talking about one of their Christian heroes. Get the right circle together and you’ll hear names like Joyce Meyers or Joel Osteen. Someone really into prayer is going to mention Stormie Omartian. The folks who like to be on the cutting edge will mention Rob Bell. And you’ll hear people positively gush about how great these folks are.
I’ve got my Christian heroes, of course. If you were to ask me which books to read I’d throw out a list including Andy Stanley, Dietrich Bonhoeffer, C.S. Lewis, and John Maxwell. I’d probably thrown in a little bit of Augustine and possibly even some Rick Warren or Hermann Sasse for a bit of flavor. And then no doubt I’d tell you what each of these men has accomplished for God and His Kingdom to underscore just why they’re so important. I’d want you to know the men’s lives so that you could appreciate them in the same way I do.
But pride in the person is misplaced. It’s not much different than assuming Paul is being prideful in talking about himself. It’s the same thing.
But if we back up just one verse in Galatians, it becomes obvious that there’s something deeper that Paul is saying. Forget for a moment the notion that he’s just seeking attention for himself and read verse ten. What does he say there? Galatians 1:10, “10 Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Paul prefaces all of his prideful-sounding “me” talk by saying that he’s NOT trying to win the praise and approval of men. If he were, he wouldn’t be a servant of Christ. The servant isn’t more important than the master. In fact, everything the servant does is done to make the master—and not himself—look good. The servant is invisible, and the master gets the praise.
That’s the ticket to understanding what Paul is saying! He’s not trying to draw attention to himself, but to what God has accomplished through him! Look at verse twenty-four: Paul doesn’t say that people praised him for what he had done for God, but Galatians 1:24, “they praised God because of me.”
So Paul’s whole story in verses eleven through twenty-four is not told to glorify himself as bragging what Paul’s done for God, but so that others may praise God for what He’s done through Paul. In telling his the story of his own redemption, Paul actually takes the focus off of himself and puts the focus on God! And just look what God has done!
In verse eleven God has established His gospel in Jesus Christ.
In verse fifteen God has called an imperfect sinner to repentance through His gospel.
In verse sixteen God has chosen that same sinner to proclaim His gospel.
In verse twenty-two an invisible, unknown servant’s life is held up before the people, and in verse twenty-four they praise God for what He’s accomplished through that man.
Paul’s still not perfect, he’s still a sinner, and yet people are praising God because of the story of how God has worked in Paul’s life.
The Greek word for praise in verse twenty-four helps us to understand this a bit better. The word translated as “praise” is the word doxazo, from which we get our word doxology. How does the doxology go? Let’s sing it together, and as we do I want you to notice who is getting the praise:
“Praise God from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.”
Praise God. Praise Him. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Praise be to the Triune God, the God who works, the God who redeems, the God who saves!
The only person that praise is rightly directed to is God. He is to be praised not because of people’s amazing accomplishments for Him, but because of the awesome, gracious way that He works through broken, sinful people.
Do you know anyone like that? Some poor, broken sinner through whom God has worked His story of redemption? Of course you do . . . all you have to do is look in the mirror. God has worked through you!
So you’re heard Paul’s story . . . what’s yours? How has God redeemed your life and changed what was misdirected and self-centered into something for which He is to be praised?
I know . . . it can be hard to think about your story, and it can be hard to talk about it. It’s hard to tell your story because, honestly, it may seem like bragging. But that’s okay, because when you brag, brag on what God has done, not about what you have done. Downplay your role and brag His up.
It’s not too hard to get started, really. Just start by contemplating the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
Think about that for a moment. About what the Gospel is. The God of all creation sent His Son to earth. Picture Jesus Christ . . . see Him teaching . . . see Him leading His disciples . . . see Him praying for His followers . . . and see Him hanging on a cross. He is there; broken and bloody but still holding to His Father’s will and strongly seeing through His mission to the very end. And He did that for you. That’s what the Gospel is.
But the Gospel isn’t just something Jesus did, but also what He is doing now. He continues to take all the work He did all those year ago and apply it to your life today. He is still teaching you, leading you, interceding for you. His death still redeems you, it buys you back from a shallow, self-centered life into a life filled with good, God-centered things.
That’s what the Gospel does, it works through you to change you, to redeem you, to save you. That’s your story of how God has worked through you. This is your way to give praise to God for what He has done.
And when others hear your story, they too can praise God for what He’s done in your life and even for what He has yet to do. I don’t know about you, but I know that God has brought about some real serious changes in my life, and I hope and pray that He’ll continue to work, because I’ve got stuff that still needs to be changed.
But when I tell others the story of how God’s worked in my life, I don’t tell them so that they’ll praise me. I don’t want them to know about seminary, or about pastoring, or anything else so that they’ll think I’m really doing something for God, but I tell them so that they can see that God can work even through a normal, flawed, every-day human being like me . . . and they will praise Him for His goodness, His mercy, and His work. He is a God worthy to be praised.
So be like Paul . . . tell your story. Fix your eyes and your heart upon Jesus and tell the story of how He has worked in your life—not so that they will praise you for what you are doing for God, but so that they will praise Him for what He has done through you. Allow others to see how Christ has shone his light into your life, and they will praise God because of you.